I don't know that I'd ever say I'd bombed on stage in the past.
Monday, I bombed. I bombed in no small fashion, completely unable to maintain myself towards a goal.
I'm really ashamed if it, because at the beginning and end of the day, I'm master and commander, I'm the writer, the director, the producer, and I'm the dungeon Master.
Not the dungeon practitioner, not the dungeon casual; the dungeon fucking master.
Monday was a lesson learned. Two actually:
#1, I got detailed, but I didn't take it far enough.
#2, I didn't rehearse that shit.
I didn't run through a complete list of what was going to happen, and assumed I could wing some stuff.
How very wrong I was. I panicked hard. I railroaded the session. I failed to be dungeon master.
How do we prevent this in the future? Take a moment. First and foremost, I was not solving any problems. I had some major issues at hand and I was not concerned with addressing them, and they festered, and they got worse.
I hadn't read my history; I'd rewatched the session but I had not done enough prep.
I also hadn't done all the right prep. Notes, overarching and sub plot related were half hashed.
Ugh. The list goes on.
Problems? The AC is useless with the door wide open and the door was wide fucking open. The curtain being drawn would have addressed the air flow issue, and insofar as RP goes, I needed to slow the fuck down and think about what was being said to me, especially when my brain was running so hot.
Lessons. Learned.
I have to run, else I'd run on. This flaggelation is not concluded though.